Critters

A Kansas farm is attacked by a hoard of hungry flesh-eating monsters from outer-space with razor sharp teeth and a witty attitude! The family who inhabit the farm must seek the help of a local drunk and his intergalactic critter-fighting bounty hunting pals before it's too late...

Genre: Action/Comedy/Sci-Fi/Horror
Released: 1986

Kenji rating: ?/5 Stars
Kenji comments: TBA

Gohda rating: 3/5 Stars
Gohda comments: Really cool, in a 1980s low budget puppet creature sci-fi horror kinda way. Luckily they added the humor, because this doesn't have much going for it in the scares department. It started off a little creepy, but then loses it as it gets sillier. The song Johnny Steele sings is actually pretty good!

Down and Out in Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills couple Barbara and Dave Whiteman are very rich but not happy. Dave is a hard working business man, his wife is only interested in yoga, aerobics and other meditation classes, and he sleeps with the house maid. Their teenage son is confused about his sexuality and their daughter is suffering from eating disorders. While they are celebrating thanksgiving having plenty of food, street tramp Jerry is hungry, homeless, sleeping rough and has lost his dog. Jerry decides to end his life by drowning himself in their swimming pool. Dave rescues him and invites him to stay for a while.

~Another terrible imdb description, but i'll be damned if i can be bothered writing anything better.

Genre: Comedy
Released: 1986

Kenji rating: 3/5 Stars
Kenji comments: Wealthy, but feeling guilty, Beverly Hills business man (Dreyfuss) decides to make himself feel better by taking in a suicidal homeless man (Nolte) much to the dislike of his wife (Midler). I can't think of anything more proposterous. Only in America. YES, its a fictional comedy, but the concept is to me, utterly offensive. The rich family taking in the poor homeless man and trying to help him "get back on his feet". It just so happends that this "bum" is a charming and well educated man, with no mental disorders, or physical addictions. Possibly the worlds cleanest, most intellgent, patient and thoughtfull homeless man. You see where I'm going? Its a fantastic fantasy - and grudgingly I'll admit an enjoyable one too. Plenty of stupid situations, complete with highly predictable ending.

Gohda rating: 3/5 Stars
Gohda comments: I know its a comedy, but there's no way this would EVER happen. I can't be bothered listing how much feelgood unrealistic bullshit is in this movie, just watch it. It's quite good.

Working Class Man - aka Gung Ho

When a Japanese car company buys an American plant, the American liason must mediate the clash of work attitudes between the foreign management and native labor.

Genre: Comedy / Drama
Released: 1986

Kenji rating: ?/5 Stars
Kenji comments: TBA

Gohda rating: 2/5 Stars
Gohda comments: Competant, but not great. Forgettable Keaton movie. Wasn't funny, more of a drama, it needed more comedy, it's very dry. I guess this was trying to have a look at multicultural issues between americans and asians and business and blah blah blah...BORING

The Hills Have Eyes II

A group of National Guard trainees find themselves battling against a vicious group of mutants on their last day of training in the desert.

Genre: Horror / Gorenography
Released: 2007

Kenji rating: ?/5 Stars
Kenji comments: TBA

Gohda Rating: 2.5/5 Stars
Gohda comments: Pretty lame sequel to the pretty good remake of the original. Tension and suspense is lost early on in this one cause the 'victims' figure out early on what they're up against, and they also have big assault rifles for most of the movie (they're National Guard trainees), so you feel they are relatively safe... then the movie just ends, with no real buildup or resolution of anything, really.

+0.5 for the scene where one of the army dudes gets broken in half the wrong way being dragged into a small hole in the rockface.

Stir of Echoes

After being hypnotized by his sister in law, a man begins seeing haunting visions of a girl's ghost and a mystery begins to unfold.

Genre: Thriller/Horror
Released: 1999

Kenji rating: ?/5
Kenji comments: TBA

Gohda rating: 3.5/5
Gohda comments: Kenji said to me before i watched it, that it was heavily slated at the time of release for being a 6th Sense rip-off. While i didn't think that at all, i also thought it was above average, if not a run of the mill, supernatural mystery thriller, that seems well-suited to become a midday movie. There is a genuine jump/scare moment in this one though, so +0.5 for the scene where Kev Bacon's character first encounters the ghost.

300

In the Battle of Thermopylae of 480 BC an alliance of Greek city-states fought the invading Persian army in the mountain pass of Thermopylae. Vastly outnumbered, the Greeks held back the enemy in one of the most famous last stands of history. Persian King Xerxes lead a Army of well over 100,000 (Persian king Xerxes before war has about 170,000 army) men to Greece and was confronted by 300 Spartans, 700 Thespians and other Slave soldiers. Xerxes waited for 10 days for King Leonidas to surrender or withdraw left with no options he moved. The battle lasted for about 3 days and after which all 300 Spartans were killed. The Spartan defeat was not the one expected as a local shepherd named Ephialtes defected to the Persians and informed Xerxes of a separate path through Thermopylae, which the Persians could use to outflank the Greeks.

Genre: Historical Action (Historical or Hysterical)
Released: 2006

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: I don't give a fuck what you say - this movie was fucking excellent. So what if it wasn't historically accurate?? The official account of 911 wasn't accurate so why care that some fantasy movie isn't true to history?
Excellent cinematography, excellent action. Lots of yelling, even more blood.

Gohda Rating: 4 Stars
Gohda comments: ooh, red text! the action in 300 is excellent, and as Kenji has said to me before, the action is filmed in a way that was only ever seen previously inside his head. Another golden idea that has somehow been stolen from his dreams, by some top secret hollywood movie agency, who harvest the dreams of unknown cinematic geniuses (like Kenji) with some kind of dream farming mechanism brought back in time by time-travelling humanoids.
My only complaint - i didn't want a true to history movie, in fact i didn't know it was based on historical events anyway, then all of a sudden there's monsters and weird persian guys that weren't explained, and to me it felt silly. And stuff.

30 Days of Night

This is the story of an isolated Alaskan town that is plunged into darkness for a month each year when the sun sinks below the horizon. As the last rays of light fade, the town is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires bent on an uninterrupted orgy of destruction. Only the small town's husband-and-wife Sheriff team stand between the survivors and certain destruction.

Genre: Horror (Vampire)
Released: 2008

Kenji Rating: 4/5
Kenji comments: TBA

Gohda Rating: 4.5/5
Gohda comments: Vampire movies are hit and miss, and are rarely scary (or very gory either). No doubt this is a dark vampire tale, and a very original idea. I really liked the zombified look of the vampires. I would've loved to have seen this as an indie horror, rather than having the A-grade sheen, but oh well. The violence and gore in this is used very nicely, particularly the part where the vampires really let loose on the townsfolk as they start to realise some shit is going down and should get the fuck outta dodge... there's that cool aerial shot of vampires slaying everybody in sight, with blood spraying all over the place and staining the white snow.

Clerks

Dante Hicks is a clerk at a local convenience store in New Jersey. On one particular Saturday morning, he gets called in on his day off. Once there, he must deal with multiple problems. The shutters outside won't open. His ex-girlfriend, whom he is still in love with, is getting married. His girlfriend, who bugs him about starting college, has revealed certain, uh...stuff about her past. His boss hasn't come in to take his place. He has a hockey game at 2 o'clock. Another ex has died, and today's the last day he can go to her wake. He must deal with customers that aren't so intelligent. His friend, Randal, a clerk at the video store next door, is even less dedicated to his job than Dante, and is always bothering Dante's customers. And the biggest problem of them all: HE'S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE TODAY!! Can Dante manage it all?

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

American History X

Derek Vinyard returns from prison to find his younger brother, Danny, caught in the same web of racism and hatred that landed him in prison. After Derek's father is killed in the line of duty by a minority, Derek's view of mankind is altered, but while in prison, he discovers that there is good and bad in every race. The task before him now is to convince Danny of his newfound enlightenment.

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: Awesome - cause i hate americans and racists! no wait.. i think that makes me prejudice! Yay for kenji

The Gods Must Be Crazy

A Sho in the Kalahari desert encounters technology for the first time--in the shape of a Coke bottle. He takes it back to his people, and they use it for many tasks. The people start to fight over it, so he decides to return it to the God--where he thinks it came from. Meanwhile, we are introduced to a school teacher assigned to a small village, a despotic revolutionary, and a clumsy biologist.

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

Hellraiser II - Hellbound

After having her father and perverse stepmother killed by the cenobites, Kirsty Cotton is sent to a psychiatric hospital. Even after trying to convince the authorities of what really happened with her family, nobody believes in her version of the history and they decide to place her in the institute, so that she rests and relaxes a little bit. The hospital is commanded by a brilliant and strange psychiatrist, Dr. Channard, who has been looking for the key for another dimension for a long time. The only person who believes in Kirsty is a young and kind assistant of Dr. Channard, called Kyle MacRae. Following Kirsty's version of the story, Channard put his hands on the bloodstained mattress where her stepmother Júlia died, Channard decides to resurrect her, killing his patients and offering them as food for Júlia. She returns without skin, and she decides to help Channard to bring the forces of the evil, but the plans of the two will be disturbed by Kirsty, who wants to end at once with the cenobites, and for Kyle, who doesn't want to see Kirsty being hurt...

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

Hellraiser

Clive Barker's feature directing debut graphically depicts the tale of a man and wife who move into an old house and discover a hideous creature - the man's half-brother, who is also the woman's former lover - hiding upstairs. Having lost his earthly body to a trio of S&M demons, the Cenobites, he is brought back into existence by a drop of blood on the floor. He soon forces his former mistress to bring him his necessary human sacrifices to complete his body... but the Cenobites won't be happy about this.

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: Saw it when i was young, scarred me for life.

Half Baked

After Kenny accidentally kills a cop's diabetic horse by feeding it the food he purchased from a munchie run, he is put in jail and is given a 1 million dollar bail. The rest of the group must bail Kenny out before Nasty Nate gets to him. The group decides to sell marijuana that Thurgood gets through his job as a janitor at a pharmaceutical lab. They become pals with rap star Sir Smoke-A-Lot and the rivals of dealer Samson Simpson. On the side, Thurgood seeks the love of Mary Jane, an anti-pot daughter of a dealer. What follows is typical pothead behaviour with a ton of cameos. Look carefully.

Kenji rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: Anything with Dave Chappelle is golden!

Gohda rating: 5/5
Gohda comments: Def in my top 5 weed movies ever. Hilarious.

Gothika

Dr. Miranda Grey (Barry) is a brilliant criminal psychiatrist. However, after a auto accident, she wakes up only to find that she has been convicted for the murder of her husband Doug. With only fragmented memories of the alleged crime, she begins to dig deeper into her husband's past. Meanwhile she is being haunted by the ghost of a girl called Rachel who is seemingly trying to convey a message to her with the phrase 'not alone.' As Miranda learns more about her husband with clues from Rachel, she realizes that Doug is not who he seems at all.

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA - Haven't watched this movie at the time of posting, but after reading the plot lines above (from imdb) im not sure theres any reason.

Gohda rating: 3/5
Gohda comments: Thought it was going to be really really shit, but it was better than i thought it was going to be... still your run of the mill generic supernatural themed thriller though. Not memorable.

Garden State

Andrew Largeman shuffled through life in a lithium-induced coma until his mother's death inspired a vacation from the pills to see what might happen. A moderately successful TV actor living in Los Angeles, "Large" hasn't been home to the Garden State in nine years. But even with 3,000 miles between them, he's been unable to escape his domineering father Gideon and the silencing effect he's had on his son from afar. Stunned to find himself in his hometown after such a long absence, Large finds old acquaintances around every corner living quite unique lives as gravediggers, fast food knights and the panderers of pyramid schemes. Meanwhile, at home, he does his best to avoid a long-simmering but inevitable confrontation with his father. By a twist of fate, Large meets Sam, a girl who is everything he isn't. A blast of color, hope and quirks, Sam becomes a sidekick who refuses to ride in his sidecar. Her warmth and fearlessness give Large the courage to open his heart to the joy and pain of the infinite abyss that is life.

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

Highlander

Connor Macleod was born in 1518 in the Highlands of Scotland. In 1536, after facing a mysterious, evil opponent, he survives a fatal stab wound and is banished from his village, for they believe his survival is the work of the Devil. Five years later, Macleod is met by Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez, a swordsman who teaches Macleod the awful truth; he is immortal, one of a race of many who can only die when the head is cut from the body. When one immortal takes the head of another, the loser's power is absorbed into the winner. Ramirez teaches Macleod the ways of the sword, until Ramirez is tragically killed by Connor's ultimate opponent, the evil Kurgan, a murderous immortal brute who lusts for the ultimate power of the immortals, "The Prize"; enough power to rule the earth forever. Connor fights his way through the centuries, until the time of the Gathering, when the few immortals who have survived the endless battles come together to fight until only one remains, and that winner will receive The Prize. The time: 1985. The place: New York City. The final fight is about to begin, and in the end, there can be only one.

Kenji Rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: There should have been only ONE highlander movie!

Gohda rating: 4.5/5
Gohda comments: I find it hard to believe, and very annoying, that The Gathering, an epic battle of the ages by the final immortals would coincidently take place in NYC. So minus 0.5 for that, but otherwise magnificent.

American Psycho

Patrick Bateman, a young, well to do man working on wall street at his father's company kills for no reason at all. As his life progresses his hatred for the world becomes more and more intense. Based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis.

the above was copied from IMDB.com and its basically shit..

Kenji rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: Read the book.. I didn't!

Gohda rating: 3.5/5
Gohda comments: I did read the book, years before the movie was made! Suck it! And yes the book is better, it has a better ending, a lengthy rant about Talking Heads, more deaths by rather disturbing methods, including death by vaginal ferret - like a psycho heterosexual Lemmiwinks!! Bale saves this movie from being totally boring.

Super Size Me

Why are Americans so fat? Two words: fast food. What would happen if you ate nothing but fast food for an entire month? Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock does just that and embarks on the most perilous journey of his life. The rules? For 30 days he can't eat or drink anything that isn't on McDonald's menu; he must wolf three squares a day; he must consume everything on the menu at least once and supersize his meal if asked. Spurlock treks across the country interviewing a host of experts on fast food and an equal number of regular folk while chowing down at the Golden Arches. Spurlock's grueling drive-through diet spirals him into a physical and emotional metamorphosis that will make you think twice about picking up another Big Mac.

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

Gohda rating: 3/5
Gohda comments: I don't think non-americans needed to watch this movie to realise that eating maccas everyday will kill you. But good on him anyway.

The Shawshank Redemption

Andy Dufresne is a young and successful banker whose life changes drastically when he is convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of his wife and her lover. Set in the 1940's, the film shows how Andy, with the help of his friend Red, the prison entrepreneur, turns out to be a most unconventional prisoner.

Kenji rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: A masterpiece in sadness.

Gohda rating: 5/5
Gohda comments: I think you can actually OD by watching this movie more than once every few years. High in saturated never-give-up-hope and a message that is as subtle as a crazed stampede of

Wildebeest

with shotguns.

Shaun Of The Dead

Shaun is a 29-year-old with no real ambition in life, much to the consternation of his friends, family, and fed-up girlfriend. With only a loyalty to his lazy best friend Edgar, a dead-end job where his employees step on him, and the good-ol' days, Shaun isn't exactly putting his best foot forward. But when the flesh-hungry undead start to rise in numbers around modern-day London, Shaun must come to the rescue of his girlfriend and mother before all hell breaks loose. With loyal Edgar at his side to fight the good fight, the two will have to pave their way through zombie-ridden London as Shaun must take on the first real challenge in his life--with comical results.

Kenji rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: Zombies. Watch it.

Gohda rating: 10/5
Gohda comments: The first ever zom-rom-com (i think), fucking hilarious, made with a love and respect of the zombie genre, and a damn good movie all in one. Check out the awesome imdb trivia on this movie which makes watching it again even more cool than it was the last time - link - legends.

True Romance

Clarence Worley, a penniless hipster in Detroit with a love for Elvis meets a mysterious hooker paid to meet him named Alabama on his birthday in a theater at night. Falling in love, he makes it his mission to dispose of her past, namely her violent pimp, Drexl Spivey. Defeating him and unknowingly taking a vast fortune of Cocaine, the two fight to sell the white gold in Los Angeles as Drexl's associates fight to reclaim it in a bloody romantic thriller full to the brim with style.

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: Awesome, early work. Almost all star cast, worthy of repeated viewing. Another of Gary Oldmans performances using another accent.

Starship Troopers

Set on the future earth, Johnny rico is a young student dating a girl named Carmen. When Carmen decides to join the military in order to become a class citizen (citizenship is only achieved through serving your country), Johnny follows and joins as well. He soon realizes that he joined for the wrong reasons but just as he is about to quit, an asteroid that originated from the orbit of planet "klendathu" hits Buenos Aires (his home town) and kills his family. Johnny and his fellow troopers set out to destroy the planet's inhabitants: a type of deadly and very large scaled space bugs.

Kenji rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: One of the greatest action movies ever made - made intentionally to be over-the-top..

Gohda rating: 5/5
Gohda comments: One of Kenji's absolute favorites! Extremely extremely extremely very fun sci-fi action movie! A movie by which i judge alien-themed FPS video games on - if it's not as fun as watching this movie, it's not worth playing.

Mean Creek

When Sam Merrick (Rory Culkin) is beaten up by local bully George Tooney (Josh Peck), Sam's older brother Rocky (Trevor Morgan) and his friends Clyde (Ryan Kelley) and Marty (Scott Mechlowicz) plan to pretend it's Sam's birthday to "invite" George on a boat trip in which they would dare him to strip naked, jump in the lake, and run home naked. But when Sam, his girlfriend Millie (Carly Schroeder), Rocky, and Clyde see George as not much of a bad guy, they want to call off the plan, but Marty refuses. Will the plan go ahead as planned?

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: Fantastic, sad, fantastic.

Friday the 13th V - A New Beginning

While Jason lies unconscious, a local man decides to use Jason's old M.O. and wreaks havoc at a halfway house for troubled teens.


Kenji rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

P.s. what a shit poster! i hope its not real..

Gohda rating: 2/5
Gohda comments: If you didn't know, this is the one where Jason isn't the real Jason, it turns out to be the deluded father of a murdered kid taking revenge on his son's 'friends' who directly/indirectly were responsible for his son's death, inexplicably wearing Jason's hockey mask, which, luckily for us he did wear, otherwise it wouldnt have been much of a Friday the 13th movie, would it? Just would've been some old dude going around murdering kids. (Also notice, that's basically the plot of the original). This one does feature one of my favorite death scenes from the entire series though - the naked girl (of course) who is killed by having her head squashed in by a tightening belt and a tree. Quite hard to explain actually. And the annoying fat guy who cops an axe to the cranium, that's pretty cool.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Ferris is a street-wise kid who knows all the tricks. Today he decides to take the day off school. When Ferris takes the day off, so must his best friends, Cameron and Sloane. Cameron is reluctantly persuaded to borrow his father's Ferrari, and together they hatch a plan to get Sloane out of class. Suspicious dean of students Ed Rooney knows all about Ferris, but can never catch him. Ferris' sister Jeanie is also frustrated that Ferris always gets away with his tricks and she doesn't. Furthermore, Ferris is an 'angel' in his parents eyes. It's Ferris' day off, he's out to enjoy himself, and he does!.

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: The BEST 80's teen movie ever. Unbeatable. Great soundtrack too! great supporting cast of people who never went anywhere in hollywood!

Rad

The story of Cru Jones, a young man who can overcome all obstacles that prevent him from participating in the BMX race "Helltrack." As he works towards his dream, Cru falls in love with Christian, an amateur racer. With the help of Christian and her friends, can Cru's "Rad Racing Team" defeat the top BMX factory rider, Bart Taylor ?

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: 5 stars! No thats a joke really - this movie from the 80s is SO BAD, its actually really REALLY enjoyable, and that, i am serious about. Marvel in the ridiculousness of the fashion and the language! ITS TOTALLY RAD!

Gohda rating: 5/5
Gohda comments: 100% 80s teen-sport-inspirational-cliché movie to the max. Underrated? Maybe not. Obscure? Yes. The school dance scene is probably unrivalled in "it-was-cool-at-the-time" laughable-ness, which even back then probably seemed to the audience like some 40 year old guy wrote the scene trying to be a hip 80s teenager. At least I hope it seemed that way, or may god have mercy on us all. But, i FUCKING LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. A gem.

Office Space

Peter Gibbons just can't seem to catch a break. His girlfriend is cheating on him, he has an obnoxious neighbor, and he's completely miserable with his job as a small cog in a company called Initech. Then he visits a hypnotherapist, who dies just after putting Peter into a state of complete bliss. Free of worrying about making a living, he no longer feels the need to keep his job, just as the company is going through a massive downsizing. However, his new attitude only makes him more valuable in the company's eyes, and his friends Michael and Samir are fired instead. Together, they scheme to plant a virus inside Initech's computer system that will pull money into their own account.


Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

Magnolia

24 hours in L.A.; it's raining cats and dogs. Two parallel and intercut stories dramatize men about to die: both are estranged from a grown child, both want to make contact, and neither child wants anything to do with dad. Earl Partridge's son is a charismatic misogynist; Jimmy Gator's daughter is a cokehead and waif. A mild and caring nurse intercedes for Earl, reaching the son; a prayerful and upright beat cop meets the daughter, is attracted to her, and leads her toward a new calm. Meanwhile, guilt consumes Earl's young wife, while two whiz kids, one grown and a loser and the other young and pressured, face their situations. The weather, too, is quirky.

Kenji Rating: 0/5
Kenji comments: zero stars is no mistake, i HATED this movie, i won't even go back and watch it again. We only have it to be complete..

Gohda rating: 0/5
Gohda comments: This is the worst movie i've ever sat through to the very end PRAYING that something, anything would tie it all together and validate me having watched random bullshit for 3 hours. This definitely makes my top 10 worst ever list. I like arty movies that don't make sense most of the time, but this is horrible.

Léonaka; The Professional

Mathilda, a twelve-year old New York girl, is living an undesirable life among her half-family. Her father stores drugs for two-faced cop. One day the cop and his team take cruel revenge on her father for stretching the drugs a little, thus killing the whole family. Only Mathilda, who was out shopping, survives by finding shelter in Léon's apartment in the moment of highest need. Soon, she finds out about the strange neighbour's unusual profession - killing - and desperately seeks his help in taking revenge for her little brother. Léon, who is completely unexperienced in fatherly tasks, and in friendships, does his best to keep Mathilda out of trouble - unsuccessfully. Now, the conflict between a killer, who slowly discovers his abilities to live, to feel, to love and a corrupt police officer, who does anything in his might to get rid of an eye witness, arises to unmeasurable proportions - all for the sake of a little twelve-year old girl, who has nearly nothing to lose.


Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji comments: A masterpiece by Luc Besson. Impossible to describe how AWESOME this movie is. EVERYONE needs to watch this movie.

The Dark Crystal

Another planet, another time. 1000 years ago the mysterious Dark Crystal was damaged by one of the Urskeks and an age of chaos has began! The evil race of grotesque birdlike lizards the Skeksis, gnomish dragons who rule their fantastic planet with an iron claw. Meanwhile the orphan Jen, raised in solitude by a race of the peace-loving wizards called the Mystics, embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of the Dark Crystal which gives the Skesis their power and restore the balance of the universe.

Kenji rating: 5/5 Stars
Kenji comments: A FANTASTIC fantasy movie, amazing use of puppet work by the master Jim Henson.

Gohda rating: 4/5 Stars
Gohda comments: This one doesn't hold much of a sentimental value to me as i only first saw it a couple years ago, but it is a great fantasy movie, the puppets are amazing, especially those big black crawly ones.

Baseketball

Two losers from Milwaukee, Coop & Remer (Parker & Stone), invent a new game playing basketball, using baseball rules. When the game becomes a huge success, they, along with a billionaire's help, form the Professional Baseketball League where everyone gets the same pay and no team can change cities. Coop & Remer's team, the Milwaukee Beers is the only team standing in the way of major rule changes that the owner of the Dallas Felons (Vaughn) wants to institute.

Kenji rating: 4/5 Stars
Kenji comments: Funny, although it gets a bit stretched towards the end.. most of the Orgazmo cast makes an appearance here..

Gohda rating: 3.5/5 Stars
Gohda comments: Pretty funny offering from the South Park guys.

Animal House

Faber College has one frat house so disreputable it will take anyone. It has a second one full of white, anglo-saxon, rich young men who are so sanctimonious no one can stand them except Dean Wormer. The dean enlists the help of the second frat to get the boys of Delta House off campus. This film gives high-jinks and fooling around a bad name. The dean's plan comes into play just before the homecoming parade to end all parades for all time.

Kenji Rating: 4 Stars
Kenji comments: TBA

Alone In the Dark

Edward Carnby, detective of the paranormal, unexplained and supernatural, investigates a mystery (the recent death of a friend) with clues leading to "Shadow Island" that brings him face to face with bizarre horrors that prove both psychologically disturbing and lethal, as he discovers that evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture called the Abskani are planning on coming back to life in the 21st century to once again take over the world... and only he and a young genius anthropologist with an incredible memory (and his ex-girlfriend), Aline Cedrac, stand in their way, at a gateway to hell. Standing in Carnby's way, however, is the impact that a brief encounter with an evil spirit called the Queen had upon his mind, as he slowly finds himself overpowered by the forces of darkness as they eat away at his very sanity...

Kenji Rating: 0.5 Stars
Kenji comments: This movie was fucking awful. Tara Reid plays a scientist.. Avoid.

Gohda rating: void
Gohda comments: I think i got about 30 mins into this before i turned it off. Also i'm pretty sure this is a remake of a classic horror role-playing video game.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

On November 14th, 1974, police received a frantic phone call that led them to the DeFeo residence, where they made a grisly discovery- 6 bodies, the entire DeFeo family, all slaughtered with a .35 caliber as they slept calmly in their beds. Ronald DeFeo confessed to methodically murdering his parents and four siblings, and claimed it was the "voices" that told him to do it. One year later, on November 18, 1975, George and Kathy Lutz along with their three children moved into the house, thinking it was going to be their dream home. Especially if their dreams were nightmares. The Lutz family only lasted twenty eight days in their home after they were terrorized by a demonic force that drove them away. Based on the true story of George and Kathy Lutz, The Amityville Horror remains one of the most horrifying haunted house stories ever told - because it actually happened.

Kenji rating: 2.5/5
Kenji comments: From what i remember, not crap, but probably not as good as the original.

Gohda rating: 2.5/5
Gohda comments: Actually, it is better than the original. But the original is a piece of shit anyway, so this is still quite a boring, average movie. Not scary.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 8:aka - Freddy vs Jason

Four years after being killed by his daughter, Freddy Krueger rests in Hell. He depends on the dreams of those in Springwood to fuel his existence. But when the town covers up his existence in an attempt to make people forget, Freddy is left powerless. In a last ditch effort he springs Jason Voorhees from his own personal Hell and sends him to Elm Street, determined to strike fear in the hearts of Springwood teens. But when Jason won't stop killing Freddy's "children," Krueger decides it's time to take Voorhees out. Caught in the cross-fire are Lori and Will, both of whom feature a history with Freddy.

Kenji Rating: 4 Stars
Kenji comments: TBA

A Nightmare on Elm Street 6:The Final Nightmare

In part six of the Nightmare on Elm Street series, dream monster Freddy Krueger has finally killed all the children of his hometown, and seeks to escape its confines to hunt fresh prey. To this end, he recruits the aid of his (previously unmentioned) daughter. However, she discovers the demonic origin of her father's powers and meets Dad head-on in a final showdown (originally presented in 3-D).

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

Alice, having survived the previous installment of the Nightmare series, finds the deadly dreams of Freddy Krueger starting once again. This time, the taunting murderer is striking through the sleeping mind of Alice's unborn child. His intention is to be "born again" into the real world. The only one who can stop Freddy is his dead mother, but can Alice free her spirit in time to save her own son?

Kenji Rating: TBA
Kenji comments: TBA

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Following up the previous Nightmare film, dream demon Freddy Krueger is resurrected from his apparent demise, and rapidly tracks down and kills the remainder of the Elm Street kids. However, Kristen (who can draw others into her dreams) wills her special ability to her friend Alice. Alice soon realizes that Freddy is taking advantage of that unknown power to pull a new group of children into his foul domain.

Kenji rating: TBA
Kenji comments: Some more great cover art!

Gohda rating: 2/5
Gohda comments: Bad acting? Check.
Bad Fashion? Check.
Bad Freddy one-liners? Check.
Corny late 80s teenager dialogue? Check.
Fantastic poster artwork? Check.

This is pretty bad. The meatball pizza scene is also quite gross. This one probably marked a step up in the special effects for the series, but who cares.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Picking up where the original Nightmare left off, Nancy has grown up and become a psychiatrist specializing in dream therapy. She meets a group of children at a local hospital facing Freddy Krueger, the same demon she once encountered in her sleep. One of them is Kristen, who has the power to draw other people into her dreams. Working with a male doctor assigned to the case, Nancy helps the kids realize their special abilities within the nightmare world. When Freddy captures one of her charges, she leads a rescue attempt into Krueger's domain, in hopes of putting his spirit to rest once and for all.

Kenji rating: 3.5/5 - Freddy still gives a satisfying performance - it aint his fault the rest of the cast is fucking useless!
Kenji comments: Sliding down the slippery slope of crap-ness, this one isn't my favourite.. drenched in the 80s..

Gohda rating: 3.5/5
Gohda comments: It's going on a good year or more since i watched the Elm Street series at time of this post, but i remember this being the last good sequel, at least until Freddy vs Jason anyway. Patricia Arquette takes over from Nancy as lead female Freddy fighter for this one, which she promptly and wisely terminates at the start of part 4 for sake of retaining a career in acting. Actually i think that happens more than once or twice in the series, the 'survivor' from the previous film is murdered by Freddy at the start of the next one... anyway this one is OK as it now sets in stone Freddys dream world theme that runs its course for the duration of the remaining series, and contains the back story of Freddys conception, the rape of a nun by a mental patient - fucking awesome. I wonder how long it took them to come up with that.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

/17-year old Jesse Walsh and his family have moved into Nancy Thompson's old house on Elm Street. No sooner are they moved in than Jesse begins to have horrific nightmares - ones that feature a burned man in a dirty red & green sweater, with knives on the fingers of his right hand. His neighbor & new sweetheart, Lisa, discovers the truth behind Fred Krueger and his horrible murder spree. Freddy vows to take over Jesse's body to continue his vile crimes against the Elm Street residents. Soon, people close to Jesse start dying violently - his ex-Marine coach, one of his classmates, many others at a pool party Lisa throws. Will Lisa's love for Jesse be enough to help him overpower the demonic presence inside him?

Kenji rating: 4/5
Kenji comments: Not directed by Wes Craven! Only 4 stars because the movie runs 70mins (or so) and Freddy is on screen for less than 15mins! Although its worthy to note this sequel had great party death sequence. its also worth making a point of the excellent poster art. The original was far more impressive. They artwork goes downhill after this one.

Gohda rating: 4/5
Gohda comments: This is a strange one. If they'd never made another Elm Street movie after this, it wouldn't be so bad. The reason is, in this movie, we assume Freddy was killed in part 1, and the dead spirit/soul of Freddy is possessing the main character while he sleeps, and making him carry out quite appropriately themed murders upon his classmates (and homosexual teacher). Of course, this goes totally against the rest of the series, where Freddy actually kills the kids in their own dreams/dreamworld, whereas here Freddy possesses the sleeping kid and makes him 'sleep-kill' his friends in reality/the real world. Apart from that continuity issue (that is only caused by the rest of the series ignoring this possession theme) - this is the darkest, most evil of all the Elm Street movies, probably for lack of cheesy Freddy one-liners and bad puns, which makes it a favorite of mine, and on top of that, the brilliant poster artwork. And that party scene is absolutely brutal... i think Freddy achieves his highest kill per second ratio there.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

In the early 1980's, a psychopath named Freddy Krueger - known as the Springwood Slasher - murdered several children with a glove outfitted with straight razor blades attached to the fingers. When a foolish decision by a judge sets him free, Krueger is burned alive in the boiler room where he worked by an angry mob of the parents whose children he terrorized & murdered. Years after his death, the children whose parents were responsible for Krueger's death - including Nancy Thompson, daughter of the police officer who arrested Krueger - are experiencing terrifying nightmares involving a burned man wearing a glove with razor blades on the fingers. The ghost of Freddy Krueger is haunting their dreams, and when Nancy's best friend Tina dies in her sleep violently during a dream confrontation with Krueger, Nancy realizes she must find a way to stop the evil psychopath's reign of terror - or never sleep

Kenji Rating: 5/5
Kenji comments: Fantastic, original and scary!

Gohda Rating: 5/5
Gohda Comments: Fuck this scared the shit out of me when i was 6 years old! What a cool and original idea for a movie. This is easily the best of the series. Between Jason, Freddy and Michael Myers, Freddy was always my least favorite, and the Elm Street series isn't my favorite of the three either, but as a series, it's definitely got more depth than the other two. But damn there is some cheesy and downright BAD dialogue/fashion in these Elm Street movies.

A Clockwork Orange

Alex and his three droogs, live in a futuristic Britain void of proper law and civil protection. They do drugs, drink, skip school, and wreak havoc during the night. They beat up an old drunkard, steal cars, rape helpless women, and start gang fights in the streets. Alex, being a rather arrogant leader, is rude and disrespectful towards his other droogs, and because of this they plot behind his back against him. In their plan to rob a woman on the outskirts of town, Alex enters the house alone to unlock the door for the other. When confronted by the owner of the house he strikes her in the head in attempt to knock her out. Meeting his droogs outside he is met with a bottle being smashed over his own head, stunning him long enough for the cops to finally arrive and arrest him. It turns out the woman he struck inevitably ended up dieing from the blow and Alex now finds himself with a 14 year prison sentence. In hopes of severely shortening his sentence, Alex signs up for a new breakthrough treatment that "cures" criminals of their want to do evil. The Ludovico treatment, as it is called, consist of Alex living a very high lifestyle while twice daily being subjected to gory and hateful films full of all that is considered wrong and evil. Part of Alex's diet contains a special drug that causes him to slowly get sick as he is forced to watch these films. After a short period of time he is shown as being cured and when, in front of a small audience, he is subjected to another bullying man and a beautiful woman, he is unable to fight back or do what he would like to do, and instead is utterly paralyzed with sickness. The process stripped him not only of his evil, but more importantly and symbolically stripped him of his right to think and be free and live the life he wishes to. After being released from prison and kicked out of his home he is taken in by small group of people who want to get Alex's pitiful story out to the public to attempt to harm the current regime in time for the next election. During this process, Alex attempts suicide and fails, but because of this the doctors of the original Ludovico treatment set out to cure him. Alex awakes from his coma cured of the sickness and is finally able to think and do what he wishes again.

Kenji Rating: 5 Stars
Kenji Comments: Awesomely bizarre and ahead of its time.

Halloween II (1981)

It's October 31, 1978 - Halloween - and Haddonfield is awakening to the horror that Michael Myers (who escaped from a mental institution) has returned to the sleepy little town, murdered three teenage students and attempted to murder student, Laurie Strode before being shot by Dr. Loomis only to walk away (events from "Halloween"). Laurie is taken to the Haddonfield Clinic to get her injuries doctored and to rest from the shock but she starts to question about why is Michael after her? She also starts to fall in love with Jimmy, a driver at the clinic. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis and the Haddonfield police search the town looking for Michael who, upon hearing that Laurie is still alive, makes his way to the clinic and starts to murder the small clinic's staff in an attempt to get to Laurie. Nurse Marion arrives and gives Loomis the key answer to Michael's madness but is also there to order him back to Smith's Grove (to stop the officials looking bad.) Can Loomis find Michael and stop him from succeeding in his plans by killing Laurie?

Genre: Horror
Released: 1981

Gohda Rating: 4/5
Comments: The best sequel in the Halloween series. The movie starts at the very moment of the ending of the original, which is an awesome idea. There's still no explanation in this movie as to why he isn't dead (after being shot 6 times by Dr. Loomis), but we do know he's going after Laurie who's been taken to the hospital. There's some good deaths in this one, like the nurse in the boiling water... Later sequels will try explain why Michael Myers is an unstoppable killing machine, so enjoy this one before the series gets bogged down in a never fully explained/realised sub-plot involving Michael and some unknown dude in black clothes and the occult and ancient evil rituals with babies and virgins and goats blood... shit like that. Or you could skip all those and go straight to H20 (part 7), since the storyline of H20 ignores the previous 4 halloween installments that came before it. And we all know part 3 hasn't got anything to do with Michael Myers... oh, and don't watch part 8, Halloween Resurrection. You've been warned.

Kenji Rating: */5
Comments: I like it as well. havent seen it in years - to be changed

Halloween (1978)

The year is 1963, the night; Halloween. Police are called to 43 Lampkin Ln. only to discover that a 17 year Judith Myers had been stabbed to death, by her 6 year-old brother... After being institutionalized for 15 years, Myers breaks out just days before Halloween. No one knows nor would wish to find out what would happen on October 31st 1978, besides Myer's physciatrist Dr. Loomis. He knows Michael is coming back to Haddonfield, but by the time the town realizes it, it'll be to late for many people..

Genre: Horror
Released: 1978

Gohda Rating: 5/5
Comments: Slashers became popular after this one. The first horror movie i ever saw, when i was far too young, and is directly responsible for my fondness for horror to this day. This movie has a VERITABLE BOUNTY of tension and suspense which is masterfully built up by John Carpenter. The theme music is cool too.

Kenji Rating: 5/5
Comments: I like it as well. What he said..